Warning: Canada is choking the Americans! I called Trudeau.
[Note: I am interrupting the publication of Part II on Toothache & Selfish Love for this urgent post.]
Hail and Fire!
Exactly a week ago I woke up from my afternoon nap to a terrifying noise outside the window. It was as if someone was pelting pebbles into the whole building. At the same time, the wind was howling, as if a pack of wolves were congregating just below me. I stood up and I froze. It was raining hail!
I said to myself: What the hail?
I could not believe what I was seeing. At the moment, I was following the wildfires enveloping the provinces across Canada. So, what was happening? Fire and hail? What the hail? The last time something apocalyptic like this happened was thousands of years ago, in Egypt. When the pharaoh refused to let God’s people go free, Yahweh brought 10 plagues to Egypt. And the 7th was described:
“There was hail with fire flashing continually in the midst of it, such heavy hail as had never fallen in all the land of Egypt since it became a nation.” (Exodus 9:24)
Canada is burning. Americans are choking!
On June 7, 2023, Americans living in the northeastern part of the US woke up to a terrifyingly blinding haze of smoke coming from Canada. It was so shocking to the Americans. Many of them was even more shocked to learn that there was a country named Canada that existed in the north. To some Americans, it was unbelievable that wildfires could occur in Canada. To these Americans, Canada is all ice and snow. How could there be a mixture of fire, ice, and snow? There are other Americans who were in disbelief to learn that there were forests in Canada! All they knew was that there was only one type of tree in Canada: maples. But how can a tree full of syrup catch fire? Ridiculous.
It was time to call the Prime Minister
When there is something happening in Canada that I wanted to know more about, the first thing I always do is to call Mr. Justin Trudeau. Not because we are friends, but because of his title. He is the Prime Minister, after all. “Prime” means chief, main, key, primary, principal, foremost. And “minister” simply means “a servant”, one who serves others. Therefore, Mr. Justin Trudeau is Canada’s number one servant!
My call to the PM
My first attempt at getting hold of the PM on the evening of June 7 was unsuccessful. Sophie (the PM’s beautiful wife) told me Justin had to go to bed earlier than usual because he had to preside over a very historical event the next day.
At 5:00 in the morning of June 8, I was successful. The hard-working PM of Canada was on the line. Yes, he sounded so tired. A good sign of a hard-working chief servant.
The transcript of my call the Prime Minister of Canada
PM: Hello. You again, Moore.
Moore: Yes, it is me again, Mr. Prime Minister.
PM: What is it this time? You miss my smile?
Moore: No, Sir. It is more than that. I need to hear straight from the horse’s mouth …
PM: Do I look like a horse to you, Moore?
Moore: Come on, Mr. Prime Minister. You know what I mean.
PM: Moore, this better be urgent. I have a very important engagement today.
Moore: Yes, Sophie told me last night. And what is the engagement about, if you don’t mind, Mr. Prime Minister?
Pride flag
PM: It is the Pride flag-raising event on Parliament Hill.
Moore: What?
PM: You heard me right, Moore. For the first time in Canada’s history, children who do not see a Pride flag raised at their schools should know one is flying for them on Parliament Hill. Isn’t it so acceptable, Moore?
Moore: With due respect, Sir. And to the LGBTQ community …
PM: Hold on, Moore! It’s LGBTQIA+. You must be politically accurate here. Remember, Canada is a very inclusive country.
Moore: I apologize. Anyway, please let me continue.
PM: Go ahead, Moore. And make it fast. I am running late here.
Moore: I see. Mr. Prime Minister, Sir. Canada is burning. And the smoke is now choking our neighbors in the south. And you are so worried that you will be late in raising a Pride flag on Parliament Hill?
PM: Americans choking due to the smoke coming from Canadian wildfires is not my concern right now. Raising the Pride flag on Parliament is actually a reminder to our neighbors in the south that enough is enough. There is so much hatred and vitriol towards LGBTQIA+ going on in there. They must be reminded that here in Canada, this community is very much treasured.
Indigenous people
Moore: I see. And I understand that. It makes sense. But there is one thing that really bothers me right now. Whenever natural catastrophe happens in Canada, I always think about the indigenous people who are the first to suffer. Have you checked on them lately, Mr. Prime Minister?
PM: Moore, be reminded that the indigenous people in Canada is very close to my heart. I am always there for them. Have you forgotten how far I have raised their social status in my administration? Don’t you know the current Governor General is the first indigenous holding that office in Canada’s history?
Is it a biblical plague?
Moore: Yes, you are right, Sir. But there is another thing that is bothering me right now. How come Canada is experiencing this plague-like phenomenon – raining hail and burning fire? Is this some kind of omen that Canada is witnessing some kind of biblical event?
PM: No. I don’t think so. Canada is a God-fearing country. That is why this Pride flag-raising that will happen later today on Parliament Hill is so important. God loves all people of all colors, sizes, and orientation. God loves LGBTQIA+. And I make sure that Canada does the same.
Would the Americans invade Canada?
Moore: Okay. It makes sense, too. But going back to that smoke coming from Canada’s wildfires choking the Americans right now. What if that hazy and dangerous cloud would linger longer than the Americans could tolerate? And they use that as a pretext to invade and annex Canada?
PM: Moore, I believe you are losing your mind right now. This blogging thing has really affected your state of mental health. Do you invade and occupy your neighbor’s house because of the smoke coming from their kitchen? You are crazy. Are we done here?
Oil companies
Moore: One last thing, Mr. Prime Minister. Are you familiar with ExxonMobil?
PM: Of course. It is one of the world’s largest oil and gas companies.
Moore: And they are one of the few companies that have devastated the Canadian landscape …
PM: Moore, if I were you, I would tread carefully there…
Moore: Do you remember, Sir, that leaked internal documents published in 2015 about the predictions made by the scientists working for Exxon between 1977 and 2003?
PM: What about it?
Moore: Their own scientists accurately predicted almost 50 years ago that fossil fuels would be the greatest driving force in fast-tracking global warming. And that the first sign would be observable starting in 2000, and there would be “dramatic environmental effects before the year 2050”?
Oil companies are generous, too
PM: Well, it maybe so. But do not forget that Exxon and other big oils are also funding private and academic endeavors that help find ways to mitigate this.
Moore: That’s my point. And, allegedly, they also secretly fund some groups of deniers that fossil oil and climate change belong to the same sentence. Oil companies have been fooling Canada for a long time, and now it is catching up with our complacency. And, Mr. Prime Minister, have you noticed something weird?
PM: And what is that? You’ve got 3 minutes.
What are the Spirits telling us and the world?
Moore: If you look at the distribution of indigenous population in Canada, huge concentrations are in the provinces of Ontario, British Columbia, Alberta, Nova Scotia, and Quebec. Don’t you see the coincidence? Huge wildfires are happening in these provinces.
PM: I don’t get your flow.
Moore: Mr. Prime Minister. Isn’t it possible that the spirit ancestors of the indigenous people are now reminding us of something? And what better way of reminding the whole world than choking the United States of America with the smoke coming from our wildfires? And of all places, New York. It is said that if you want the world to pay attention, do it in the Big Apple. What do you think.
PM: You really are crazy, Moore. Bye. And don’t forget to watch the Pride flag ceremony today live on tv.
Moore: Thank you, Mr. P…
(Click!)
Oh. I just love Canada. You can call your Prime Minister anytime.
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