A Painful Toothache & A Dentist: My Anni Horribiles
[This is Part II of a 3-part series.]
Unhealthy self-love and the toothache
On June 7, 2023, I published a post titled “What Do Toothache & Selfish Love Have In Common?” It talks about the importance of love of self, and that everything about love starts with the self.
In this second part, I would like to share my own experience with a simple toothache that has reminded me of the truth that pain from a toothache is an apt metaphor for an unhealthy self-love.
Law School
Many years ago, during my short stint at a law school, we had a professor in Constitutional Law I will never forget. He was both beloved and dreaded by his students. He was a terror in class; it was nothing personal, he would say. “When you pass the bar,” was his constant refrain, “you will be glad you have met me.”
“I do not care what you think!”
He was (in)famous for a feared individual oral examination in front of the whole class. We were very careful with how we started our answer. When one opened a sentence, for example, with “I think”, he would stand up and bang his desk and yell inches from the poor student’s face. “I do not care what you think! All I am interested in is what the law says, and whatever supporting jurisprudence you can provide! What you think, you better keep them to yourself.”
Most geniuses die young
To some of us, though, he was easy to like. That is, if you just know how to dig deeper to understand the guy more. He was very brilliant at what he did, everybody would agree. But one thing that I worried about him was his abusive affair with alcohol. He reminded me of those intellectual giants, like Edgar Alan Poe and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Alas, true enough, he passed away at a very young age not long after I left his course.
A bit of wisdom I never forget
But I learned a lot from his genius, lessons not found in our textbooks. Whenever he delivered his occasional adlibs, I made sure my pen was at the ready. For example, with great dramatic flair in his voice, he said:
“You have never fully lived your life yet unless you have experienced already the four most important things in life. One, you have encountered in your life the best human being not related to you by blood. Two, you have encountered in your life the worst human being not related to you by blood. Three, you have experienced the worst physical pain you could imagine that you would think you would want to die. Four, you have experienced the happiest moment in your life that if you had a weaker heart you would die from a myocardial infarction.”
In short, a life fully lived is only judged toward the very end.
Toothache
But for the purpose of this article, I would like to comment on #3. In future posts I hope to share with you my reflections on the other three.
It is said that no matter how big a man you are, when it comes to pain from a toothache, you are reduced to nothing more than a little boy. Or, if nothing in life can make you cry, a toothache surely can.
2019-2023 is my anni horribiles
Yes, those are my horrible years. The late Queen Elizabeth II delivered a speech on Nov. 24, 1992, in which she referred to that year as the royal family’s annus horribilis. One scandal and tragedy after another.
“1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure, it has turned out to be an annus horribilis.”
Not only did I have my own annus horribilis, I had multiple ones running for almost 4 years! But they all were caused by one thing, my teeth. No, my teeth were not that terrible at all. It was a combination of bad luck, greed, and incompetence. My anni horribiles led me far down to a rabbit hole that I wondered how and when it would all end. I was in the midst of an unhealthy love of self.
I would have been a millionaire and a wise man
If molar teeth were valued like diamonds, I would be a millionaire by now. You see, for unknown reasons that had left many dentists puzzled, I have had an oversupply of wisdom teeth! And they all led to “impaction”. And the only way to free them was the extraction of the healthy molars on top of them.
I have lost count of the number of impacted wisdom teeth and molars that have been pulled out over the years since my early forties. If I could only sell them like diamonds, I would have been rich by now. And if their designated name was literal, I would have been full of wisdom at my age.
The start of my annus horribilis
In the middle of 2019, I went to see my dentist due to the nagging pain I was feeling in one of my molar teeth. The x-ray result would show that a huge wisdom tooth was pushing the molar, resulting in some kind of infection. I was right away referred to the specialist. I didn’t lose time in arranging an appointment.
After further examination, the oral surgeon determined that surgery for the two teeth was urgently needed. With a caveat: there was a very high probability that it would cause a permanent paralysis on my left face. It would affect my speech as well as feeding. I left his clinic so stunned, as if my body was already experiencing paralysis. And I told him that I would call him for my final decision. I had to digest what was happening. My choices were very grim: occasional pain due to infection, or partial facial paralysis.
The long wait
Did I have a choice, but to choose the better evil? I called the specialist clinic to make an appointment for an extraction. And was told to wait for a call to confirm. I waited months. Taking pain medication was the temporary relief. No call came. I contacted my primary dentist to intervene. It turned out that the specialist clinic could not find my record! Then Covid19 visited the whole earth. All dental procedures in the land came to a halt.
Year 2020
In the middle of 2020 the inflammation came, and the pain medication couldn’t handle it anymore. My dentist referred me to another specialist, who lost no time in seeing me for the initial examination. Through this good dentist I learned that the permanent facial paralysis was not accurate at all. Long story short, the surgery went well. The healing period was terribly painful.
Another horribilis
Sometime in July of 2020 I had my regular cleaning. When I went to the clinic it turned out that my primary dentist was not available. I was assigned to a visiting dentist. I right away thought it odd that I was not informed beforehand that a substitute dentist would see me. But I had so much trust in my dentist. When the hygienist was done, this dentist came over. After his quick examination, he determined that some procedures had to be done, due to this and that. Long story short, a simple filling would turn into endless procedures, root canal, crown, etc. The rest of 2020 up to the first half of 2021 was filled with multiple dental visits due to the complications of the procedure done by the substitute dentist.
The incompetence was glaring
When I saw my primary dentist, I offered him a long list of complaints from my experience with the substitute dentist. I told him that I had been to so many dentists in my lifetime, and this was the first time that I had to undergo a very painful procedure, from the multiple freezing injections (he seemed to be having difficulty making it right), and the clumsy way he handled things. My primary dentist, of course, would protect his peer by downplaying my complaints. But for the following months more complications kept appearing, until my primary dentist admitted that a nerve was potentially damaged by the procedure done by the substitute dentist.
The shocking discovery
I had the suspicion that the substitute dentist recommended procedures, like root canal and crown, which were not necessary. But it was too late. It was at this point when I decided to go online and googled his name. It was a total shock to me what I discovered.
The guy started his dental practice less than a year ago!
I was so angry. As I dug deeper, I saw a video of an investigation done by CBC Marketplace about some dentists in Canada wantonly recommending dental procedures, not to alleviate patient’s pain but to satisfy their greed!
The betrayal
I felt very much betrayed by my primary dentist. I had been a loyal patient with the clinic for more than 8 years, when the business was still family owned. My long-time dentist retired, and I was entrusted to a younger, energetic, charismatic, one. Then he screwed me by leaving me in the hands of a very incompetent newly minted one.
A mixture of bad luck
I believe my problem started when I became a collateral damage to an emerging trend in the healthcare sector in Canada. The dental clinic where I used to call home became a part of a network of clinics operating all over the province. When profits become front and centre, personal touch and decency most often take the back seat.
At a terrible cost
In the latter part of 2021 I made a sad decision. I moved to another dental centre. Where all mistakes were slowly corrected. And the thousands of dollars that were spent mostly came to naught. Because in the end the root canal and the crown were wasted. That molar had to be extracted due to complications.
But the true cost was not in dollars. For almost 4 years I suffered terrible mental and psychological anguish. It greatly affected my personal well-being, as well as disrupted my professional practice.
And why am I sharing this?
I thought of sharing this for two reasons. One, for those in Canada (and even in the US, where I also experienced this kind of shenanigans of some dentists), to do your homework before you give your full trust and confidence when you entrust your dental care needs to a new dentist.
Two, it was during this period of almost 4 years where I wallowed in so much self-pity. During my physical and mental pains, all I could think of was myself.
The last in the series
In Part III I will connect in detail my existential toothache to that of a metaphorical one. I believe many of us are suffering from some kind of toothache that makes it very difficult to develop a healthy love of self.
Expression of gratitude
I would like to end this post with a grateful nod to my new dentist and his team. I thank the great people at Thorncliffe Dental Centre:
Dr. Neil Kaplan, for his welcoming and warm care. His extensive experience is only matched by his gentle demeanor when taking care of his patients, especially those in pain. When he says there is a little pain, there is a little pain. And when he says there is hardly any pain, there is no pain at all. The only fear I have right now is to see Dr. Neil goes on retirement. Dr. Neil is the nearest that one can have as grandfather or father for a dentist.
Dr. Adam Kaplan. Although he is not directly connected with the facilities, he is the go-to specialist when there are more complicated issues. As the saying goes, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Dr. Adam inherits the gentle quality of his father.
Dr. Ryan Margel, the very young and energetic endodontist who also journeyed with me in those tumultuous times. He always makes me feel that a dreaded procedure can be a walk in the park. Dr. Ryan, it is my wish and hope that your gregarious and very brotherly demeanor toward your patients stays the same in your whole career.
Video by Cedric Fauntleroy from Pexels
The happy staff
To all the staff, who are the faces of what a wholesome and caring dental clinic should look like. You know how to treat the people coming in with utmost respect and understanding. Which is just perfect; most people do not want to find themselves in a dental clinic and most often they are in pain. Your smiles and patience make a huge difference in their experience as soon as they step inside the office.
Sharon, Annie, Jing, Gaby, Sibel, Nelly, Carmen, Cassondra, Leila, Jasmin, Noor. Apologies to those others I have not encountered.
June 6, 2023, was my last procedure with Dr. Neil. What a relief. It is my hope that my anni horribiles are over.
Although I like these people at the Thorncliffe Dental Centre, I do not wish to see them more often than necessary. And, God help me, not for another major procedure.
I have suffered enough for now. But, again, I cannot thank you all enough!
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