The Smile That Launched A Thousand Unacceptables
I called the 23rd Prime Minister of Canada
On October 18, 2022, at 11:05 PM I called the Prime Minister of Canada on his private number. That was the eve of the 7th anniversary of an election that brought him to power. There was no answer.
Our secret agreement
It has been our secret agreement that I could only call him on a Tuesday between 10:00 and 11:30 at night. Our last conversation was four months ago. Is he asleep? Or is he out of town? Is he abroad? The next Tuesday at 10:30 PM I tried again. And for the next four weeks I kept trying. Now I was worried. What else should I do? There was no other way to contact him outside of what we had secretly agreed upon. I was now convinced he was again in some far away country.
Justin cancels his World Tour!
So, on the moring of February 28, 2023, something on my newsfeed caught my attention: “Justin cancels his World Tour”. My heart jumped. Oh, my goodness. Finally, our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, is staying home for good. So many things that need fixing are happening in Canada nowadays, and Canadians need their Dear Leader to stay put. No more travelling abroad. So, I clicked on the news, and my heart sank.
“Justin Bieber has officially cancelled the remaining dates of his ‘Justice World Tour'”!
My first confession
You know, I have a confession to make. In the 2015 election, the reason I rooted for Mr. Justin Trudeau was because of his smile. Yes! I just loved that smile. It was time for Canadians to have a smiling Prime Minister. A lot of smiles!
The day I voted in 2015
As soon as I entered the voting booth, I did not have to read the names of the candidates. Everything that was in red – the Liberals – I just marked check and check. You see, I just presumed that all those reds were all running under Justin Trudeau’s party. And the only way for Justin to reach the finish line was for Canadians to vote red. I was done in one second, the fastest in my voting age in Canada. And, Bam! I got my brand-new-fresh 23rd Prime Minister of Canada.
Victory!
The headlines read: Liberal Party won a decisive majority government! I ignored the fact that, although the Liberals took 54.4 per cent of the total 338 seats, they ONLY got 39.5 per cent of the popular vote. The number didn’t matter to me. I got that SMILE! It was a wonder why the other 60.5 percent did not share my view that Canada desperately needed a smiling Prime Minister.
My second confession
Another confession I must make is that by 2015 I really got tired of seeing the unsmiling face of Justin’s predecessor. Don’t get me wrong, though. In 2006, when Stephen Joseph Harper became the face of Canada, I immediately fell in love with his demurring smile. To me it was just, how do I describe it…cherubic! Rosy-cheeks and so full of angelic innocence. But then I noticed the gradual change in the span of nine years – from 2006 to 2015. More on Stephen later. We go back to the Smile.
The world went gaga
Man, I couldn’t be prouder of the fresh-looking ever-smiling Canadian leader. Not only Canadians, I mean the 39.5 per cent, but all over the world people also went gaga over that Smile. Canadians were so proud to have produced two Justins – as contribution to the whole of humanity.
The Baby and The Smiley
In 2009 the world woke up to witness the new superstar coming out from a small town in Stratford, Ontario, Canada. A cute little angel named Justin Bieber. But then I began to worry. I wanted a Justin on the public service side, too, someone that would rock the geo-political world. So, in 2015 I got my wish: Justin the “Baby” and Justin the Smiley!
Let the great time fly!
And I couldn’t be more optimistic. The Smiley was elected in October 2015, and by the next month of November he was in Turkey. This would soon be followed by five more foreign trips – Philippines, UK, Malta, France, Saint Kitts and Nevis. And he struck while his Smile was still burning hot; by January of 2016 he flew to Switzerland, to be followed by 13 other countries: US (5 times), Japan, Poland, Ukraine, China, Israel, Belgium, Cuba, Argentina, Peru, Liberia, Madagascar, The Bahamas.
The Americans couldn’t have enough of Justin’s Smile, he had to keep coming back for a total of five trips!
Rock it, Smiley
Then the internet went wild with naughty insinuations when a photo went viral of Ivanka Trump caught having that smitten teenager look at The Smiley. Social media erupted again in August of 2019 when another photo showing Melania Trump giving The Smiley a harmless “cheek-a-peck” went mainstream. I have a suspicion that The Donald has never forgiven The Smiley for that. Long after, in January of 2022, The Donald was still seething, he accused The Smiley of “woke tyranny”, whatever that means.
The virus intervened
Going back to The Smiley’s trips abroad. Our Prime Minister was hard at work promoting Canada on the world stage, so much
so that it took Mr. Covid19 to visit humanity to make him stay put. So, no jet-setting between February 2020 and early June 2021; after which he came out gun blazing starting with a trip to the UK on June 10. According to Wikipedia he has made a total of “66 trips to 39 different countries” so far. Right now, he is starting to get packing to the UK for the new King’s coronation on May 6. Japan is waiting for him May 19-21.
I am sorry, Justin
However, sorry to disappoint you, Justin. No, not you The Baby. The Smiley. I must admit that now – the year 2023 – something has changed within me. You see, Justin, among other things, there are so many things happening in Canada that do not make sense anymore, they need some fixing. And fast.
“That’s unacceptable!”
I have noticed, Justin, that whenever a big issue is thrown at your desk you go on TV and your favorite (sorry for the un-Canadian spelling) soundbite is: “That is unacceptable!” The first time, a long time ago in fact, you uttered that phrase I was so thrilled. That is the kind of leader I want for Canada. I said to myself then when I saw you on TV.
When the “That’s unacceptable” became unacceptable
But now I can no longer count the troubling issues that have plagued the federal government and the corresponding “That’s Unacceptable!” that comes with each troubling issue.
The problem here is that each troubling issue is unacceptable to me, too. But the difference is that I – a nobody Canadian – cannot do anything to solve it. While you, my idol, has all the power to fix it. Man, you fix problems of other people all over the world, remember? But for you to do it, you need to suspend your own World Tour, as a start. Leave it to The Baby. You keep saying “That’s unacceptable!” but nothing happens – meaning you admit that you accept it, nevertheless.
Smile + “That’s unacceptable!” = unacceptable
So now, your smile is slowly becoming synonymous with “That’s unacceptable!” Too many “That’s unacceptable!”(s) that I almost want to see you smile less and less.
I am sorry (yes, Canadians are famous for this politeness, baby) but I have to tell you that I was watching the news less and less, just to avoid seeing you and your “That’s unacceptable!”. But I had no choice, I had to watch the news. You know why?
My crush: Ms. Lisa LaFlamme
You see, one more confession I must make here: I had a crush on the CTV National News anchorwoman, Ms. Lisa LaFlamme. I just loved those shining silver hairs! See, I couldn’t NOT watch the late-night news on that channel. Ms. Lisa’s glowing face was the last image I wanted to see before I closed my eyes for the night. Every weeknight!
Some non-sensible decisions are good
Thank heavens, Bell Media made it easier for me. On August 15, 2022, Ms. Lisa made a shocking announcement via her Twitter that she was leaving CTV National News. No. She was fired! I was so shaken, and I still feel it until today. Adding salt to the very raw wound, Ms. Lisa said that she was blindsided by Bell Media‘s mind-boggling decision. Who blindsides Ms. Lisa LaFlamme? Having said that, I now have every reason to watch CTV National News less and less.
And I have a strong suspicion that Ms. Lisa LaFlamme’s absence on CTV National News and my difficulty sleeping are very much related.
Ms. LaFlamme, thank you for your beautiful service
Ms. Lisa, you may have lost your hard-earned gig, and I am really, very sorry. But, just to let you know that a speck, an iota, of good news is that you have done a great service to me. Or, rather, you unwittingly became an agent of Bell Media to bring a change in politico-media landscape: the less number of Canadians watching CTV National News means their less exposure to The Smiley.
My deepest political secret
For you readers, let me share with you something that no one – even in Canada – knows about. Before I voted in 2015 in an election that catapulted Justin Trudeau to the highest office in Canada, I made a call to the current Prime Minister, Mr. Stephen Joseph Harper. No, I had no secret pact with him regarding late night calls. In fact, I was a total nobody to him. I wanted to tell him that I was grateful for his great service to Canada and the Canadians. I also wanted to ask him why he was no longer smiling a lot over the years. And I was going to vote for somebody who smiled a lot.
The phone call
(Ringing. The 22nd Prime Minister is picking up my call. It is 11:55 PM)
Stephen: Who is this?
Me: Moore. Please call me Moore, Mr. Prime Minister, Sir.
Stephen: Moor…
Me: Moore, Sir. M.O.O.R.E.
Stephen: Okay. What do you want, Moor.
Me: M.O.O.R.E. Sir, Mr. Prime Minister.
Stephen: Whatever. What do you want. You got 3 minutes.
Me: Oh, Sir. Just to let you know. I am your big fan.
Stephen: Thank you. 2 minutes.
Me: Just one quick question, Sir. Mr. Prime Minister.
Stephen: Shoot. A minute now.
Me: Sir. Mr. Prime Minister. How come you don’t smile more often anymore?
(Short pause. Is he sitting up and taking notice?)
Me: Are you there, Sir? Is my time up?
Stephen: Am here. What’s your name again?
Me: M.O.O.R.E. Sir.
Stephen: Just call me, Steve, Moor.
Me: I cannot do that, Sir. Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
Stephen: Serve yourself, Moor. Anway, that’s a very interesting question. Hmm.
Me: Glad to know it gets you interested, Sir. Mr. Harper.
Stephen: How much time do you have, Moor. I will tell you everything. All my reasons.
Me: Sir. Ah, M.O.O.R.E.
Stephen: Okay. Okay. M.O.O.R.E. Sorry.
Me: No. No need to be sorry, Sir. Mr. Prime Minister. But…I do not want to hold you any longer than necessary. It is getting too late. Just a one-sentence answer will suffice, Sir. I will just…
Stephen: M.O.O.R.E. You may not have noticed it. But Canada right now is in a very precarious situation. There are so many things that need fixing. Canadians have been so complacent for so long. Canadians have been sitting on that laurels as being in the land of politeness and friendliness. As if they are living in a fantasy world. Something must be done. What Canada needs in time of great challenges is a leader who looks like a leader. Not just a leader, but a very serious leader. And you do not project an image of a strong and serious leader if that leader smiles a lot. My greatest realization is that a smiley image does not generate confidence and inspire rebirth, in the real concrete world. And …
Off. The line was cut!
(My mobile phone was out of power. Dang! I exclaimed alone in my room. I should dig deeper about Canada being in a very precarious situation. It sounds pretty serious. The next day, with my mobile fully charged and 2 power banks in hand, I tried calling him again. No success. But my beloved Steve’s prophetic words would never be forgotten.)
There you are. That phone conversation happened a week before the 2015 elections. Today, I am beginning to believe the wisdom of the then-Prime Minister Stephen Joseph Harper.
I am still hoping
But I still refuse to believe that I made a mistake in wishing for a fresh and smiling Prime Minister back in 2015. Yes, serious things need a serious approach. And smile and serious do not belong in the same sentence. Especially in government. Most especially in Canadian politics.
Shout-out to Mr. Justin Trudeau, Sir
Mr. Prime Minister. Mr. Justin Trudeau. I still love your smiles. I really do. But with all the issues going on in Canada right now, I am fine with less smiles now. And more action on “That’s unacceptable!”. Uttering “That’s unacceptable!” while smiling does not project seriousness and confidence. My phone pal Steve was right.
The Minions are multiplying!
Another thing that keeps me up at night – besides Ms. Lisa LaFlamme’s absence on CTV National News – is my observation that many of Mr. Trudeau’s cabinet ministers are taking a cue from their boss. You see them say – with impeccable precision – “That’s unacceptable!” And the very worst part is no one among them is a good copycat. Not even close. Thank the moose, they don’t attempt for That Smile.
Mr. Prime Minister, please it’s time to find a fresh speechwriter, Sir. All this “That’s unacceptable!” has become so unacceptable to me. I am so scared that Canadians will soon get used to it – if not already – and every problem plaguing Canada right now becomes acceptable to them. Please, sir.
Hey, Canada. This is unacceptable, eh?
